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Posts Tagged ‘conversation’

The human side of negotiation

In Communication, Development, Effectiveness, Inspire, Language, Leadership, Networking, Personal Branding, Philosophy, Strategy on March 6, 2017 at 11:02 pm

How often do you think you use negotiation skills? We may not realize it but negotiation is a big part of our daily life. We negotiate various factors in our roles at work, from project timelines to resources, to parameters for our performance indicators or salaries, and even in our personal lives, with conflicting opinions, or even something as simple as where to dine.

Negotiation is about reaching an agreement where both parties walk away with mutually acceptable terms. The ability to get what we want is only enhanced by our ability to negotiate effectively.

The word ‘negotiation’ has copped a bad reputation. Oftentimes, we associate the act with competition or confrontation or believe that only an all-or-nothing approach can win; the word ‘win’ supporting the act of competing.

But what if we take the notion of competing out of the equation and approach a negotiation in a more fair way?

After all, the reason you’re getting into a negotiation in the first place is either because one party wants something from another, or that both parties want something from each other. Once you each establish what is important and unimportant to each, the negotiations can begin. The questions that each person needs to ask is ‘What do I want from you?’ and ‘What can I give you in return?’

But how to do this? How exactly do you start asking those questions without sounding contentious?

Let’s explore.

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Steering yourself through a challenging conversation with pacing and leading

In Assertiveness, Communication, Effectiveness on April 11, 2016 at 6:33 am

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How many conversations do you have in a day? And how many of those conversations do you think you actually do well in? That you can walk away from thinking you handled well and said what you needed to say, delivered your message well, and got your intention across?

And while some conversations are easy to navigate, others aren’t so breezy. So how many of those conversations do you wish you could have again? And if given the chance, you would say something different, or in fact, say anything at all!

In a perfect world, all our challenging conversations would go according to plan and we would emerge with perfectly desired outcomes for both parties. And both parties would come out of the conversation stronger for it, with big smiles, skipping together through a field under a rainbow enhanced sky.

And yes, pink elephants would fly.

But plans don’t always go to, well, plan. And in a conversation where the stakes are high, such as a project conversation, or an invested or focused consultation, we want as much as possible to prevent a situation where we have to face an irate other party or handle a conversation where things have gone direly wrong.

You know the type of conversations I’m talking about. Conversations where there is conflict. Conversations that are challenging. Conversations that have the potential to damage relationships.

So what to do? The main thing is to rein in the chaos and then steer the conversation down a path you want it to go. But how to do this? Let’s have a look.

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The art of communication

In Communication, Development, Effectiveness, Inspire, Language, Leadership, Learning, Personal Branding, Philosophy, Positive Thinking on January 30, 2015 at 10:07 pm

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